But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My hand turned me down
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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