Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
