Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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