I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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