he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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