It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
