i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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