Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize