My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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