NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
