I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
3pm strippers are depressing
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Randomize
