The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
