Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
