Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
