I just pynch a tree in the face
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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