Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
