thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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