Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
