just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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