I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Drunk is not a location!
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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