We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
My dick has a subreddit
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
