So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
