dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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