Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
