cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Randomize
