I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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