Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
worst night to have a conscience
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
