I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
