Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Say something about gay babies.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My vagina is very pro this idea
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize