in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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