I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Floor bacon is actually really good
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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