Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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