My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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