sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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