I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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