Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
