If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
