And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
