I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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