We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
