So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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