Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
