If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
