I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize