Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
