Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
