You just made me feel so damn special
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
