did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
