how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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