32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
what day is it and did you see me today?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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