I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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