he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
