Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
