Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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