Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Randomize
