This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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