Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
