Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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