so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize