you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
