So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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