that's an acceptable place to lick
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
