shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I need a beard to bite.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
