so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
