i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Randomize
