NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
