i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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