Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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