mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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